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Mar 31, 2006

Tricksy and False

I've played quit the trick. Changed the web address where this stuff gets posted to without telling anyone. There. I've done it. I've thrown off the four people that've read my blog in the past. Now where are my ties?

I've slowly cut them, it seems, over the years. Time and place severed the relationships I held with my childhood friends. An unfortunate event obscured the years I spent with my highschool friends, and now a disjointed college life has left me with, well...something I'm still grappling with. I feel like the roots of the great tree, arching, twisting, snaking, pushing out and trying to find some ground to settle down in; there is nothing here but bedrock, dry soil, no rain.

The years summed up could be coined as the Great Uprooting. At what point in a man's life, after he feels no connection to the world that surrounds him, does he give up? And how does he give up? Less investment in the social systems available? A true uprooting, where he picks up the withered ends of everything he has left, and moves to another place, marches to a new beat, starts over, tries to fit in?

Because there is no place where a person can escape the arrows of loved ones. Isolation is everywhere and nowhere, for the always the body carries the weighted sack known as the mind. For how long after I go, if I go, will I be trying to reconcile the reasons for leaving?

Where are my reasons for moving?

And I can't believe how bright the stars are shining
And I can't recall the last time I looked into the sky and
It seems to me if I make it across the county line maybe
my life will turn out fine.

- YMSB

Mar 13, 2006

Spring Break Update

Yes sir! We're now in the middle of what will be a long and most likely uneventful Spring Break, just the way I like it. On the agenda right now I have work, school work, 'craftin, lots of time with the girlfriend, sleep, and lots of time with the girlfriend. That's the plan, anyway. Rarely do things fall together so smoothly, in fact, they tend to fall apart. But that's just following the over-arching life cycle of all things on this planet. A slow unraveling...

Anyway, my spirits are much better than they were a week ago this time. And last week sequenced in a progressive downhill slide, leaving me in the red and at my wits end by the end of the week. Yes, I do know what it's like to be worth a negative two hundred dollars. The feeling accompanying that knowledge is like having a tight vice around one's entire thought process. I couldn't function. Couldn't eat (cause I couldn't afford to), couldn't sleep well, couldn't communicate, couldn't do school, couldn't see the sun through the clouds. Refused to light a candle. Cursed the darkness. Couldn't write, which is why I'm doing so now, with twenty minutes left here in Admissions. The next six or so hours ahead of me will be spent at the Petro Center, the other job.

Well, have some training to do before I send off. This entry is probably filled with grammar and spelling errors, but I don't have the time to check. Points to whomever finds them.

Peace.

Mar 6, 2006

Pre-Spring Break Update (Numerical)

1. Do not eat at McDonald's

Don't purchase food from their drive-thru and take it home either. Had a bad experience with it last night. McDonald's may be quick, convenient, and may even taste halfway decent on the way down, but when your stomach wakes you up at 4:30 AM and tells you that it won't be digesting that McDonald's, you're in for a rude, rude awakening. Vomiting McDonald's is like swallowing bleach. Nose, mouth, throat, and searing pain. Stay away from that stuff. I had a buddy give up Wendy's a long time ago because of a "bad experience." I never asked him to elaborate, but I think I know what he's talking about.

2. The Second Job

Began working at a convenience store this weekend. I'll be putting in ten to fourteen hours a week there to supplement my already sub-par income. So far, I'm enjoying it.

3. Summer Employment

Though I am graduating, I still haven't found a "real job." However, the admissions office offered me a position as a student worker again through the summer, which will allow me to get up on my feet, and most likely out into my own place of living.

4. Spring Break

In congruence with what I've done every year for Spring break, I will be staying in the area and working. Really, a week off of school is vacation enough for this guy. Screw you, Cancun, and Florida's overrated.

5. State of Mind/Being

Physically, I'd be able to tell that I threw up violently this morning even if the memory of it was erased from my mind. I hate that feeling. My stomach's still acting a bit queer, but I kept down some liquids, and I'm hungry for............something. That tells me that I do not have the flu.

Mentally, I can tell that my REM sleep was interrupted last night. Surprisingly though, I'm in decent spirits, cause my vision's looking past this week to Friday afternoon, the beginning of spring break. Nope, wait, nevermind...low spirits now.

More later...

Peace.

Mar 1, 2006

Letters of Recommendation

These handy little job-getters have been part of the subject of my composition class for the last two weeks. Coincidentally, my roommate and I headed into town on Monday to pick up a letter from his former percussion instructor. He plans to use it for entry into school in Madison this fall. In class, we had already talked about the characteristic of a good letter of recommendation, so when my roommate came back to the car with the letter and handed it to me, I felt I knew what to look for. And I cringed when I read the first sentence:

To whom this may consern:

Ouch. The man spelled "concern" wrong. Right away I have a bad feeling. I don't mention this to Adam right away, and instead opt to read the full-length letter. Overall, it was a very general recommendation letter that failed to highlight any of my roommates strengths; it didn't talk about his weaknesses either. I didn't see this letter helping him, nor did I see it hurting him, unless it actually hurts him because it doesn't help.

He received a similar impression after reading it. I then suggested to him that he'd be able to get a better letter from someone else, like his boss, and that he should simply hold on to this one in case he will need it eventually.

I couldn't refrain myself from bringing up the situation in class the next night. Dude spelled concern wrong, so what does my friend do? Well, two options were given:

1: Call up the gentleman who wrote the letter, inform him of the typo, and request that he draft a new letter.

2: Call up the gentleman who wrote the letter, ask if it would be all right to re-type the letter yourself, then bring it to him to sign.

When I got home from class that evening, my roommate asked, "Did you notice on my letter of recommendation that he spelled 'concern' wrong?"

Yes. Yes I did notice that. I told him that this wasn't a good thing. He wanted to know what we could do. I proceeded to tell him at length about the conversation in class, and the options that he had at that point.

It was only after telling him that he informed me that the other roommate unintentionally wrote down his Subway order on the back of the letter with a Sharpie, and it bled through. I could not restrain myself, and began laughing until tears ran down my cheeks. I had to cover my mouth to avoid waking the neighbors. I had to see the letter. Sure enough, flip the sucker over and down the left side I saw:

Steak and Cheese on Wheat

Lettuce

Onions

Black Olives

Mayo

And the list went on all the way to the bottom of the page. Black, permanent marker. I was literally rolling on the floor, and both roommates could only smile. I recommended that he request a new letter of recommendation.